Sucker Punch!
by ExistenceIsFutile23
Summary: random pairings! and some not so random. any way... several one-shots, lots of pairings no same sex pairings lots of wackiness!
1. Convenience Store Blues

Okay this one's kinda RoxasXFuu. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts…

**Convenient Store Blues**

"WHAT THA FUCK MAN?!"

"WHAT THA FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! I'M GONNA GET SUED IF YOU'RE DEAD!"

Cid screamed his brains out standing over the blonde boy who was apparently knocked out (or dead) on the sidewalk in front of his convenience store.

The boy had been on top of the shop apparently and fallen off (from what Cid heard from inside and came running out).

The boy groaned and sat up with his hand on his head, "Ugh… Are you open?"

Cid blinked in shock. The kid just fell off his store onto the pavement and now he wanted to shop?

"Uh sure kid… You okay? What's your name?"

"I'm Roxas, and I'm fine. I just wanted to hang out up there but then I fell…"

Cid helped him up and the two walked inside, Cid behind the counter and Roxas going down rows of food and other things.

This was officially the weirdest day of work for Cid….

The girl in the back of the store looked at Roxas and then back at the dinks she was staring at.

"Hi Fujin" Roxas greeted with an arm full of junk food and soda.

The light-purple haired girl continued to browse the drinks, "Head trauma."

Roxas laughed and shook his head, "Naw I'm fine!"

Fuu resisted the urge to smirk and regretted talking to him.

She chose her drink (Mountain Dew) and turned to go and pay up front.

"Where're your friends?" Roxas continued to talk to her.

Fuu remained emotionless (as usual), "Ditto."

Roxas raised an eyebrow, "Uh, they're waiting for me to get back with all this crap food."

Now Fuu resisted the urge to smile as she handed Cid the munny and he returned the change.

She hated the way she was acting. 'Stupid' she thought.

When she turned to walk off she felt the soda slip from her grip, cursing when it hit the floor. "Shit."

Roxas giggled and Fuu blushed with her back to him. Why was he so… 'Cute' to her all of a sudden? And she was making an idiot of herself in front of him, she thought as she quickly grabbed the soda and left.

"Hey wait up!" Fuu heard the boy shout behind her. She was half way back to the sandlot when he caught up with her (apparently having already paid for his large stack of snacks).

She sighed, turning to see the boy who rarely smiled and was always in a trance of thinking. It was one of the qualities she liked about him: his stoic mysteriousness… But she'd NEVER admit that.

"I'll walk you back" he held a look of seriousness with his bag in hand and the twilight at his back. She almost forgot she was staring at the picturesque sight and forced herself to look to her soda.

"Whatever."

They walked toward the sandlot in silence.

Didn't Roxas' group hate Seifer, Rai and her? She couldn't figure out why he kept following and bugging.

She opened the soda with a 'pop'… and screamed a high-pitched scream when the soda shot out in her face….

Roxas stopped with his mouth opened in shock from seeing Fujin covered in soda with a scared look on her face and the scream she had just emitted.

Slowly, very slowly, a blush crept up on her cheeks and a smile on Roxas' face.

"Shut up."

Roxas grinned and held up his hands, "I'm not saying anything!"

Fuu threw the half full soda down and started to walk away emotionless again, but still with a blush.

"It was cute." She froze at what the boy behind her said.

He crossed his arms and smirked at her reaction. Her back was to him but her blush was growing. She couldn't let him see…

"A blush definitely suits your face Fujin."

She started to walk again.

"But a smile would make you look even cuter. Fujin?"

She stopped again and turned to him. His smile faltered at the growing blush on her cheeks and the dying sunlight on her dripping wet hair.

"Just call me Fuu."

She turned and walked away.

--K-I-N-G-D-O-M--H-E-A-R-T-S--

She did it! She said more than one word! Sorry for the out of character…

Reviews are nice!

Tell me if I did anything right or more importantly, wrong. )


	2. Bailout Crush

Another RoxasXFuu one-shot! Yay!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**Bailout Crush**

"Whoa! Whoa! whoa! ACK!!"

Gravel spurted in all directions and shouts of surprise filled the morning air in the Sunset Hill area.

Roxas groaned and a wave of apologies buzzed from him as he picked up the girl he had just run into on his skateboard. He hadn't been paying good attention because it was early in the morning and he still had sleep in his eyes. Plus he hadn't expected anyone to be here, least of all Fuu…

She was silent and stone faced as she was helped up. He noticed the scrapes on her legs and a few on her arms, instantly feeling bad. "I'm so sorry, you okay? What are you doing up here this early?"

The stoic girl just stared at him then turned down the hill to walk back toward the train.

"Goodbye…" Roxas muttered as the girl left with the morning twilight on her purplish hair.

_--K-I-N-G-D-O-M--H-E-A-R-T-S--_

BAM.

"UGH! Son of a-" Roxas groaned and peeled himself off the ground for a second time that day. And for a second time that day, he helped Fujin up all the while apologizing.

Now he REALLY felt bad for slamming into her from cruising down the big hill in town on his skateboard. All he wanted to do today was skate (it's why he woke up early and why he wasn't hanging out with Hayner, Pence and Olette), but the only trick he seemed to be able to do today was run into Fuu.

Fuu had been walking at the bottom of the hill toward the sandlot when he had t-boned her on his speed run. He hit her, screamed and slammed into the wall of a shop. Now he had scrapes to go along with the ones he had given her just a few hours ago.

"Fujin I'm SO sorry! Are you okay-"

She was gone when he looked around.

_--K-I-N-G-D-O-M--H-E-A-R-T-S--_

This was getting pretty painful… Was it worth it? Hell yeah!

Fujin thought this as she sat in her bathroom nursing another scratch on her elbow.

Roxas had hit her on his crazy skateboard twice today.

And it was all her plan.

A small grin crept onto her face while looking out the bathroom window, having finished her job of bandaging fresh scrapes.

How nervous she was when it came to her secret crush. Only saying one-word sentences was her thing, but to him, she couldn't even get out a single word.

Making Roxas run into her was a plan she developed late at night in order to get closer (and maybe even talk) to him.

Just as the perverted thoughts were starting to make their way into her head (teenage hormones…), the source of the 'happy' thoughts streaked past her window on his skateboard.

She got up from her seat and made her way to the front door. She would make sure she said something this time when Roxas ran into her.

_--K-I-N-G-D-O-M--H-E-A-R-T-S--_

This fic's rated teen I believe, so I wasn't going to elaborate on Fuu's 'happy' thoughts of Roxas… As much as I wanted to.

Reviews help! "Ya know?" (that was Rai…)


	3. Why I Hate Laundry

This is KIND OF a ZexionXKairi so...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts and I'm pretty sure that Xemnas doesn't own a diary.

**Why I hate Laundry...**

"Zexion It's your turn to do the laundry."

Zexion sighed and got up from his computer as Roxas walked away. He HATED doing the laundry. There wasn't one single washer or dryer in the whole castle. This meant he would have to go into Hollow Bastion and wash the organization's black cloaks in a laundry mat.

Throwing his own cloak into a laundry sack, he put on jeans, a pair of converse and his favorite Taking Back Sunday shirt (The guy's emo, so what?).

With the bag containing his cloak in hand, Zexion went to collect the other nobody's dirty cloaks.

Lexeaus's room was skipped because the guy never washed his cloak (or showered in fact...), so the next room on the way was Luxord.

After getting Luxord, Axel, Roxas and Xigbar's cloaks, Zexion stood outside Larxene's door.

'You can do this Zexion. if she attacks, throw the bag at her.' he got prepared to knock.

When he did, a cloak slid under the door and he heard Larxene growl from the other side.

"Thank Kingdom Hearts I didn't have to go in there..."

After having to convince Demyx that he wasn't a stranger trying to break into his room and molest him, help Saix think of a good gift to get Xemnas for Christmas, water Marluxia's lily garden, tell Xaldin to stop calling him 'Zexy' and run away from Vexen's experiment, Zexion had everyone's cloak and warped to the town.

He grumbled the whole way into the laundry mat and set the bag of laundry on a counter. Every time was the same, he'd have to empty the contents of the cloaks out before washing them because everyone always forgot stuff in their pockets.

The place was empty except for the owner, Zexion and a girl washing her clothes near the back. She smiled at Zexion and his stomach did a little flip.

'She's hot' he thought and continued to stare at her while she separated her clothes. She had long red hair and a pink skirt on.

Zexion sighed (his favorite thing to do) and turned back to the laundry.

He didn't feel very friendly today and decided he would empty the contents of the cloaks into the trash instead of returning them to the owners.

The first one to be emptied was Marluxia's. It contained a bunch of rose petals. "Homo." Zexion threw the cloak into the machine and reached for the next one.

Roxas'. He dumped the pockets into the trash can, which held a bunch of candy wrappers, sea salt ice cream sticks, a blue jewel thingy and a porn DVD. "Heh, he's probably looking for that... Crazy teenage hormones."

The next cloak to be emptied was Xigbar's. Nothing in it but an extra eye patch (Zexion smiled evilly as he threw it away).

Now Zexion picked up Larxene's cloak and dumped it out. A tampon and a knife. "Thank god it was unused."

Xaldin, Vexen and Luxord had made sure to empty their cloaks, so now he moved to Axel's.

"Pictures of Roxas... Sleeping. Eating. Going to the bathroom..."

He tossed Axel's cloak into the washer in disgust.

Saix's cloak contained a small child, 8 ducks and a drawing of Xemnas. "Creepy."

Demyx's cloak had food stains all over it and contained a sitar (Zexion didn't know how the hell things like this fit in there), a puppy, a jump rope, crayons and a fish (obviously dead).

Zexion grew nervous with anticipation at seeing what was in his leader's cloak. He felt something hard in a pocket and grabbed it.

It was Xemnas' diary...

_Dear diary,_

_Saix is so cute, he bought me a snow globe for my birthday and made me breakfast in bed._

_Meanwhile, I still hate everyone else._

_I swear Axel is trying to do something weird to Roxas, Larxene is ALWAYS on her period and just growls when I give her an order, I had to give Xigbar a handicapped parking pass because he complained about 'eye discrimination' for three days straight, Lexeaus smells like shit, Luxord is now in major debt from gambling, Demyx wont quit bringing small animals into the castle for some reason, Vexen likes to think I don't notice him slipping things into my drink at dinner, Marluxia KNOWS I have allergies, Xaldin keeps shaving hair off people in their sleep so he can glue it onto his sideburns and Zexion's just an emo bastard that pisses me off with all his sighing and hiding._

Zexion slipped the diary into his pocket, "I'll finish this later..."

He emptied out his own cloak (which held a bottle of black nail polish, scraps of poetry, a few razors and a pocket mirror) then started the wash machine.

The girl in the back of the store was sitting down waiting for her laundry and waved at Zexion. He waved back and flicked his hair. The girl giggled and he smirked.

'I'm so cool'

When the cloaks were finished washing he threw them back in the sack and turned to leave. He'd just make Axel dry them with his pyro powers...

"Hey wait! You forgot this!"

Zexion turned around and saw the girl from the laundry mat holding a cloak. It was his.

He smiled a little and grabbed it, "Thanks."

The girl smiled and walked back into the building.

When Zexion got back to the castle he noticed a piece of paper sticking out of the cloak he was carrying and grabbed it.

It had a phone number written on it with a name: Kairi.

As Zexion stood looking at the number in shock, Axel grabbed the bag of laundry away from him.

"Ugh, I have to dry them? Thanks a lot emo. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!" Axel screamed suddenly and pulled a cloak from the bag.

It had spots of pink in places all over.

"Zexion, you put bleach in with our cloaks you dumb shit!"

--K-I-N-G-D-O-M--H-E-A-R-T-S--


	4. Orchids

Okay, this one's a DemyxXNamine. I know, random huh?

This one was also a request from SharleaNorth, so I hope you like it!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts

**Orchids**

"The function of a flower is to inhibit the union of male sperm with female ovum to produce seeds. The process begins with pollination, is followed by fertilization, leading to the formation and dispersal of the seeds."

"HOLY shit Marly! You're supposed to eliminate Sora, not US with your damn flowers!" Axel shouted out after seconds of Marluxia's speech.

Some of the organization had been sitting in a lobby of the castle (they were bored), when Demyx made the mistake of asking Marluxia how a flower made babies.

Now Marluxia stood as if giving a speech to the whole country and rambled out stuff that no one (least of all Demyx) could understand.

Larxene had left the room almost immediately after Marluxia started, Zexion was banging his head on the table he was sitting at, Xigbar was asleep, Axel had been trying to ignore him with his video game, and Demyx had been listening enthusiastically.

Ignoring Axel's outburst, Marluxia continued.

"For the higher plants, seeds are the next generation, and serve as the primary means by which individuals of a species are dispersed across the landscape."

"I'M FUCKING TRYING TO BEAT FINAL FANTASY VII HERE!" Axel screamed and waved his controller.

Xigbar was awoken with a jump and ran out of the room screaming about something in his porridge.

"Some flowers with both stamens and a pistil are capable of self-fertilization, which does increase the chance of producing seeds but limits genetic variation. The extreme case of self-fertilization occurs in flowers that always self-fertilize, such as dandelions. Unisexual male and female flowers on the same plant may not appear or mature at the same time, or pollen from the same plant may be incapable of fertilizing its ovules. The latter flower types, which have chemical barriers to their own pollen, are referred to as self-sterile or self-incompatible"

Marluxia rambled on with a straight face and conjured flowers for visual aid as he went.

Axel had now lit a couch on fire in his anger, saved his game, then stormed out of the room.

Zexion got up with a sigh, "come on Demyx, let's get out of here."

The nobody that had been the cause of Marluxia's rant waved Zexion off without taking his eyes off the flower that was being dissected by Marluxia.

Zexion sighed and walked out, greeting Xemnas as he walked in.

"Very interesting… so these plants have hearts?" Xemnas questioned when he saw Marluxia's demonstration.

--K-I-N-G-D-O-M--H-E-A-R-T-S--

Demyx had gotten last again…. What was sad is that this was the castle he lived in and he still got lost at least once a week. "Where's my room?"

He heard a giggle behind him and turned.

"Demyx, your room's two floors down," Namine told him with a smile. She was carrying a vase with white orchids in it.

Demyx chuckled in embarrassment and thanked her. "What are you doing with those pretty flowers Namine?"

She looked at them, "Oh, I'm going to put them in my room near the window."

Demyx thought the flowers looked particularly pretty next to Namine… Then a plan came to mind.

He started reciting things about flowers that he had learned from Marluxia. Namine was shocked that he knew so much and listened in amazement.

"Demyx, you know so much about flowers!" she exclaimed, now seeing the quirky nobody in a new light.

"Well…" he smiled in a very un-Demyx sort of way, "I could show you how much I know if you want to go to dinner with me."

Namine was shocked again.

"Uh Demyx?"

"What?" he asked now growing nervous about his bold question.

"Let me put this vase in my room and get ready, can we go somewhere with karaoke?"

--K-I-N-G-D-O-M--H-E-A-R-T-S--


	5. My Name Is Riku

This pairing isn't so reandom because I've seen a good number of fics with it, but it sure as hell won't be in any Kingdom Hearts game!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts and Yuffie doesn't own a house in Kingdom Hearts. (I don't know how she even could...)

--

--

_**My Name Is Riku**_

Another Heartless dispersed. My blade was glowing with darkness along with my body. It felt good. So good. Killing all these heartless was a good way to get rid of pointless emotions.

I really didn't need anger right now. Or sadness.

Where was Sora and Kairi?

Where was I?

These past few months have all run together. Day after day roaming and killing heartless.

I had seen Sora a while ago but had to leave.

He had all kinds of new friends and I was happy for him. But my journey had been anything but filled with new friends. It was lonely out here and the only thing keeping me from losing sanity was destroying the heartless and the thought that meybe one day I could return to Destiny Islands with my friends.

I was breathing hard by the time I got to Traverse Town and through the gates. I was so tired I wasn't even aware of a person jumping at me before she knocked me down and held a blade at my throat.

"Who goes there? Do you not know that I'm the greatest ninja ever? Yuffie Kisuragi!" she shouted in my face.

I glared at her "get off of me you idiot."

She jumped up with a grin "Who are you? You have pretty white hair. And it's soft too Ooooo..."

I slapped her hand out of my hair and she held it, looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

"Where's a hotel or something?" I asked looking around.

"Ah screw that place! It's a rip off" she was grinning again.

I stared at the overly excited young woman. She was a little older than me it seemed, but really immature.

She continued grinning at me in silence.

God she reminded me of Sora.

I sighed and started toward a large staircase. "Wait!" she ran over to me again "you really don't wanna stay at the hotel, they rip you off!"

I rolled my eyes "then where do you suggest I stay genius?"

She grinned even more (if possible) "With me my new pretty haired friend! What's your name anyways?"

I stared at her in disbelief. She really thought I was gonna stay with her? I was about to ask her just that when out of nowhere it started pouring. "Oh it's raining..." she said sadly "well, let's go home!"

"Wait I-" but she was already dragging me toward a house.

I let her take control. I realized I was tired, had little money and it was pouring rain. My options were limited on shelters and this Yuffie girl was offering a free DRY place to stay for the night.

I'd leave as soon as possible tomorrow...

"So welcome to my humble abode! Make yourself at home. I'm starving!"

I looked around at her cozy little home and stood in the living room.

"Come on I think I have some clean towels in the bathroom so we can dry off" she walked down a hall. I followed with a sigh.

"Stupid things alway... hiding from me" she muttered and dug through the cabnet under her sink for the towels.

I couldn't help but stare at her... she was bent over right in front of me and there were still trickles of water making their way down her skinny legs every now and then.

She stood up and I looked away fast and pretended I was looking at the shower.

When I looked at her after a few seconds of silence she was blushing and held a bundle of towels in her arms.

"Um, I f-found the towels..."

"Thanks" I muttered and coughed a little.

She handed me one and I started drying my hair. When I looked back up I noticed she was staring at me with her mouth partially open. Copying my move, she looked away fast to the shower.

I noticed something funny about her shirt and almost choked when I saw that it was practically see-through from the soaking rain. Oh, and she was cold...

"Hehehe well, why don't we go to bed?"

I stared at her in disbelief.

"No no no! Not like that I meant, to sleep actually!" she blushed and waved her hands in front of her.

I nodded and wrapped the towel around myself. "Um..." she muttered and looked at the ground.

I raised my eyebrow. "I only have one bed and..."

She twiddled her thumbs in her nervousness. Thinking about what she said, I grinned, "Don't worry, I'll stay on one side."

She looked up quickly and nodded with a frown, "O-okay um, well it's this way."

After getting to her room she lay it her bed and looked at me. "Go ahead..."

I lay down next to her (not a very big one) and stared at the roof. Yuffie turned off the light "g-goodnight."

"Goodnight" I told her and rolled over with my back to her. Sora wouldn't believe this one when I told him...

Her leg brushed against mine and she made a squeaking noise "sorry!"

I smiled and told her it was alright. Would this be a good night after all?

"Hey, by the way, my name's Riku."


	6. Let's Go Kid

yay another random pairing oneshot! This one's CloudXNamine.

Hey, along with reviewing (hint hint) you should suggest which pairing's you'd like.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

--

--

--

_**Let's Go Kid.**_

"Ahhh! Mayonnaise!!"

"Shut up Yuffie!"

"But Cid, the condiments are attacking me!" Yuffie yelled from the kitchen. Cloud rubbed his temple in annoyance and I simply smiled. Cid continued to scream obscenities to the kitchen from his computer area.

Tifa's head popped out from her room with a curious look at all the screaming. Sora popped out from the kitchen, "Yuffie can't even make a sandwich can you believe that Cloud?!" he laughed loudly and returned to where Yuffie was screaming about a butter knife.

We were all staying at Merlin's house after Sora rescued me from Organization 13 two days ago.

"Namine," Kairi yelled from the kitchen at me "wanna help us make sandwiches?"

Leon burst from out of his room holding his gunblade "QUIT SCREAMING!"

I got up from my seat near Cloud and walked into the kitchen. It was horrible: Yuffie ran in circles holding a butter knife as far away from her body as she could, Kairi was chasing her saying that it wasn't a sharp knife and couldn't have cut her, Sora was laughing and eating all the lunch meat and Riku was standing in silent anger with Mayonnaise smeared on his face.

I heard the door slam an turned around to see that Cloud had left the house.

"Namine help!" Kairi gave up trying to calm the frantic ninja down. I returned order by taking the lunch meat from Sora (Sora: "awwww..."), wiping Riku's face clean (Riku: "hmph" blush), getting Kairi a glass of water and taking Yuffie's butter knife to make sandwiches.

--

several minutes later...

"Thanks a lot Namine!" Sora said through a mouthful of sandwich. "We were supposed to make sandwiches and Namine ended up making them all..." Riku muttered.

"Oh it was no problem!" I told everyone with a smile.

"I said to make dinner guys, and not only do you pick the easiest thing in the world, you can't even complete the task" Leon directed this at Sora, Kairi and Riku as he ate.

All three looked embarrassed and Cid laughed. "Well they tried. These are very good Namine" Aerith said quietly. Tifa had left to go on heartless patrol with Yuffie, and Cloud... still hadn't come back.

--

The streets of Hollow Bastion at night could be described as just that. Hollow.

There weren't many lights to guide you and heartless came and went as they pleased. They didn't bother me because of the whole being a nobody thing. I still couldn't find Cloud as I went back toward Merlin's in defeat. I did run into Tifa and Yuffie and Tifa told me I should go back home (I didn't tell her I was looking for my new blonde friend).

Suddenly I remembered something, yesterday Sora and Yuffie had taken me to a laboratory that wasn't very far.

I bet cloud was there.

When I got there I was glad to see Cloud sitting high up on a wall looking at the sky. He looked... enigmatic sitting in the dark with the giant moon rising behind him.

I silently climbed up to where he was and sat beside him. I knew he knew I was there even though he was still staring at the same spot. "What's on your mind?" I asked.

He looked at me (I didn't have feelings, so why did it seem like I felt a jolt of nervousness under his gaze?)

"Namine," he spoke quietly "you're a nobody..."

I was taken back by his words and waited to see if he would continue. He looked back at the sky and sighed. I fidgeted awkwardly. "You know, we're not so different" he surprised me by his sudden statement.

I raised an eyebrow, but stayed silent. I liked listening to Cloud, not talking too much because it was far more interesting listening to what he had to say when he did say something.

"I'm searching for someone..." he spoke softly.

He smelled like something foreign to my senses... Like... a desert. His eyes glowed in the moonlight and his words had me hanging on every time a new one was uttered.

"I'm... A clone I guess you could say of this person I'm looking for, but an imperfect one Namine"

He looked at me again and I tried to smile in an assuring way. "But I'm rambling..." he trailed off and looked away again. We sat in silence again as he stared at the starry sky and I smiled at him. "I understand," I whispered to him and wrapped my arms around him. He tensed up which made his body seem even rougher and strong. The smell that I now associated with Cloud intensified and engraved itself into my senses.

He coughed and I released with a smile.

He stood up and stared back at the town, "we should get back before Aerith and Tifa have a fit."

I nodded and he offered his hand to me. I grabbed it and he pulled me up fast. I gasped but realized I was pulled into a hug by Cloud. I blushed with wide eyes before I realized what was happening. He ruffled my hair with his gloved hand, "let's go kid."

Before I knew what was happening, Cloud was already walking off and I was still standing In the hugging position.

When I hugged Cloud I felt so... safe. Like nothing could hurt me and everything was alright.

"Wait up Cloud!"


End file.
